Thursday, October 8, 2009

Vocabulary Jumble

Weakness,
Desperation,
Insecurity,
Failure,
Ignorance.

Five words that will kill one in practice.

Confidence,
Strength,
Self-Reliance,
Success
Knowledge.

Five words that one can live by in practice.

Lost
Not Found
Found
Not Lost

One's perception of one's self can be worded in ways others may not decipher

Tragedy
Miracle

The vocabulary balance that holds the balance of life

Fault
Responsibility

An ability to effect another life

Lies
Truth

The path of success lies with tiles of truth, the path of success is paved with lies

Conundrum

Confusion will often lead to many different results and consequences

Relief

One will survive

Approach

One can attack, perceive, react, or go dormant

Knowledge

Knowing will lead to success will lead to life will lead to death

The Boy Who Fell to Hard

The boy who falls to hard suffers indescribable pain.
He finds the best of the worst, and over emphasizes,
Her faults may be many, and her faults may be great,
But the boy who falls to hard, refuses to relent.
She may have a brief glimmer of hope, of great possibility,
However to the common eye, her societal worth is minuscule.
The boy who falls to hard, weighs not worth, but his first impression.
He may have seen her once, and she may have smiled,
That alone, would floor him.
For the boy who falls to hard,
A woman is like a star, if he reaches out to them,
He does not know what to do if he can grasp them.
The boy who falls to hard,
Will convince himself, then try to convince the rest.
She is the one, she is his everything.
She will have other plans,
His naivety is cute, but soon a tired act.
The boy who falls to hard,
Will never see that she is going to leave,
Will never see that pain coming,
Until rock bottom.
He will then not accept that SHE could be at fault,
That SHE could be in the wrong,
The boy who falls to hard, will try to be valiant,
However his valiance, is ignorance, and stupidity.
The boy who falls to hard, will repeat these steps,
He will make these same mistakes,
Because every woman, every girl, is the one.
Her every mistake, her every wrong doing, is overlooked.
Thus making the boy who falls to hard, a criminal
He will rob himself of greater opportunities,
He will sell himself short,
He will give up on his confidence.
He will murder, what little progress he may have had made.
The boy who falls to hard, will inevitably learn.
He will learn the ways of confidence,
Though stumble through the hurdles of arrogance,
Cockiness,
Ignorance,
and,
Being over eager.
The boy who has fallen too hard,
Will push too hard,
Will no longer be walked on,
Will struggle with his new found self power,
He will confess his desires,
He will not give up,
He may make some mistakes,
Hopefully none with major consequences,
Hopefully none will be great sacrifices,
as he begins the endeavor,
To become the man that is wise, and in control of his heart.

Untitled Thoughts

This question weighs,
Did I make a mistake?
Was that moment misread?
Did I hurt the future of a well laid past?
Perhaps this newest attitude,
Is still to raw and unrefined.
Perhaps there is an inability to read,
What so often never had to be read before.
Was ignorance my blessing?
Is confidence my curse?
I choose to look ahead,
Somewhat assuredly,
Though fearful of retribution,
Of loss.
This loss could be great,
This loss could be epic,
But I tell myself,
This loss will not happen....



....I hope

Monday, October 5, 2009

AuToBiOgRaPhY

Twenty eight years ago,
I was nothing more than a helpless babe,
Unable to feed, clothe, or protect myself,
Leaning on two, and soon to be one.
Five years later, life was on a bus,
Traveling to yet another soon to be home,
Only to travel again shortly to another unknown.
Seemingly two years later life had settled into a home,
Not just a house, but a resting place, a future.
All that perfection, all that had been settled,
Torn apart, seven years later.
Unsettling death, an ally disappearing into the dark,
Leading to a painful struggle of a couple more years,
Then
Change
And
Freedom
Three years pass and many friends, freedoms and experiences too,
Then commencement, an achievement marred in a miserable habit,
Alcohol through 18 years of life, and barely a drop to touch my own lips.
As many proceed through the doors of academia,
I passed through the doors of the judicial systems,
In disbelief of a pure mental capability, summonses rolled in, fines paid out
Until rock bottom....
I became a corporate America slave, round and round every day,
Minimum wage became my full and part time lover, twice the duty
Four times the stress.
Months later after many visits, and joking ideologies,
A previous missed opportunity, with a motivation for improvement.
Became a sixty six month endeavor.
Weeks before yet another commencement, tragedy befell,
Leaving the weakest edition, the meekest version, to suddenly fend alone.
Though life stood still it would not end, commencement held greater meaning,
One who had raised me, had become two, who then suddenly became one,
With knowledge and ambition, the professional ranks became home,
Until the frustration of immaturity and laughable ideas became the norm.
One year became two, became hope and motivation, became three.
Being preceded by a life changing journey multiple time zones away.
Twenty seven years in, ideas became hope, hope became method.
A beautiful influence and inspirational motivator, four destinations,
One desired effect.
I sit now, twenty eight years deep, pondering my next step,
Urging to go forth, with the support of many,
But the burning fire of one,
That one,
The only one,
Is the twenty eighth year version,
Of that once helpless babe.