Beneath the Surface

Beneath the surface, 

Where reality lies,
Comes all the truth,
Comes some surprise.

The surface calm,
Seemingly in control,
Beneath the surface,
Emotional turmoil.

Beneath the surface,
Where you reside,
Where these feelings,
Are safe to hide.

Beneath the surface,
With nobody able to see,
What I really think of you,
How I hope you see me.

Beneath the surface,
When I speak to you,
Without words,
A task few can do.

Beneath the surface,
Behind the words,
Are feelings so pure,
Feelings you’ve never heard.

Beneath the surface,
A fear so paralyzing,
Uncertainty daily,
Feelings I’m recognizing.

Beneath the surface,
This isn’t casual,
It’s intense,
It’s unusual.

Beneath the surface,
The way I truly feel,
This joint connection,
It’s uniquely real.

Beneath the surface,
I’m constantly scared,
Like me hurting you,
Is something you’re prepared.

Beneath the surface,
I fear being the jerk,
Knowing mistakes were made,
Knowingly a cause of hurt.

Beneath the surface,
The words I won’t say,
Not due to being false,
But fear of scaring you away.

Beneath the surface,
Words relayed like a mime,
veiled, secret, coded,
Because you feel like a lifetime.

Beneath the surface,
I remember the past,
Learning intensely,
Because this could last.

Beneath the surface,
Where your presence roams,
My feelings explode,
Because you feel like home.

Beneath the surface,
I feel you here,
where my words are honest,
these words are clear.

Beneath the surface,
Where I wish I could show you,
My desire to see you,
My desire to know you.

Beneath the surface,
Flowing like blood through my very veins,
Ever present,
In my heart, my soul, this brain.

Beneath the surface,
Is where these feelings should be,
Terrified if I show them,
It will just be me.

Beneath the surface,
Where these feelings have always been true,
Beneath the surface,
There is always you

Beneath the surface,
I reconsider life,
Beneath the surface,
I find care,  not once but thrice

Beneath the surface,
For me is pain,
Beneath the surface,
For you is pain.

Beneath the surface,
Behind these tears,
A secret I’ve hidden,
For fifteen years.

Beneath the surface,
Where sometimes you see,
Not who I project,
The real me

Beneath the surface,
Where nobody goes,
I invite you, if you’ll come,
For this private show

Beneath the surface,
It’s always been you,
Beneath the surface,
It’s always been you.

Beneath the surface,
I feel the unusual path,
The future that could be,
A future that could last.

Beneath the surface,
I struggle to stay silent,
Beneath the surface,
You’d see I’ll never be violent

Beneath the surface,
I hear your words and process fast,
I try to learn, understand,
Not replicate your past.

Beneath the surface,
Which you enter through these eyes,
There is no panic, or excuses
There are no lies.

Beneath the surface,
Where my feelings let loose,
But beneath the surface,
Those feelings have no use.

Beneath the surface,
a four letter word,
Beneath the surface,
something I know you’ve heard

Beneath the surface,
Where I turn to cope,
Emotions unknown,
Except this one, named Hope.

Beneath the surface,
Where hope rules all,
Where hope is real,
Where hope is my call.

Beneath the surface,
I hope you’ll let me show,
I hope you’ll stay
I hope you won’t go.

Beneath the surface,
Where I’ve been scared to let you in
This is where you belong,
Where you fit in.

Beneath the surface,
Though words do not lure,
How I really feel,
Unsullied, and pure.

Beneath the surface,
It’s time to come clean,
Beneath the surface,
I need you to know what I mean

Beneath the surface,
I don’t backtrack when I feel strong
Beneath the surface,
These feelings aren’t wrong.

Beneath the surface,
You deserve to know,
Beneath the surface,
I need to show.

Not to him,
Not to her,
I’m paranoid,
I’m so unsure

Beneath the surface,
What I want to do,
Above the surface,
Is be with you.

Beneath the surface,
You’ve always been there,
I’m intense, and abrasive,
With the way that I care.

Beneath the surface,
I have a memory that lasts,
Which is why I never want,
To remind you of your past.

Beneath the surface,
I know it’s not just you,
A triumvirate to care,
With lots to do.

Beneath the surface,
I’ll take all of it,
Above the surface,
I’ve shown I won’t quit

Nobody gets below the surface,
This much is true,
Nobody has deserved to in 13 years,
Nobody, but you.

Beneath the surface,
I miss you when you’re not here,
I want to do right by you,
Above the surface, let’s make this clear.

Above the surface,
What you’ve seen for so long,
Laughter, recording, writing,
Singing a song

Beneath the surface,
These are symptomatic,
A nod to these feelings,
With you that are automatic.

Beneath the surface,
Should no longer exist,
No more hiding it,
No need to resist.

Beneath the surface,
It’s time for a giant leap,
Putting myself out there,
The risk feeling steep.

Beneath the surface,
If you’re ready, it can be gone in a blink
I’m ready to make it the surface,
If you’re ready? What do you think?